Hurt.Sad.Angry

Dear Mr. Jerkface,
I wish I can tell you to your face that you are really hurting me.
I wish you would care.
I wish when I walk by, or you walk by, you would look at me.
I wish I can say I'm sorry for whatever I did wrong.
I wish I could stop caring.
I wish you didn't still matter.

I wish I wasn't so pathetic.

Sincerely,
Hurt.Sad.Angry.

Thoughts on... Twilight.

This would not be a blog, if I did not give you my opinion on Twilight…

I hate to do this to the blog world, but I really need to give you my two cents on this subject.

1. I am not a die hard fan.
2. I do not have any fan merchandise… (ie. Team Edward t-shirts, seriously?)
3. The books are like candy-coated cocaine. Impossible.to.put.down. Literally.

Now that is out of the way, let me get started.
So I started reading the books before “Twilight Mania” came to rise…
I think it was 2004/2005, a friend of mine who was living in Europe at the time with her family, sent me this 5 page email about how “brilliant” these books are.

I’ve always been a fan of the vampires. I loooved Buffy. Angel was my god. I love Ann Rice novels, etc.
So I decided to give my friend the benefit of the doubt, so she sent me all the books (hardcopy books being sent through airmail, is not cheap… believe me. SO I knew she was serious about how good these books were…)

So luckily it was summertime, because I literally read all 3 books within 2-3 days (Breaking Dawn did not come out until 2007/2008). I literally could not stop reading them… and to be honest with you, NO idea why. I mean no offence to Stephanie Meyer, but the novels are not that well written. BUT the way this author describes the characters and the struggle of this 100+ year old Vampire and the plain jane high school girl, you cannot help but relate and your heart just simply - just simply… melts.

I must confess, I am a VERY emotional reader. I get so in tuned to any novel I am reading that I literally fall into the book. When the character is angry, I’m angry. When the character is heartbroken, I’m going through the Ben & Jerry’s with them, no joke. Twilight was absolutely no exception.

The downfall to this (as if there is only one, right?) I go into this almost catatonic stupor. My brain becomes all muddled and sloppy and I just have such a hard time to deal.

Eventually this feeling goes away, and I become a normal girl again… whatever normal is.
Now don’t get to thinking I was one of those that would go on the internet and get as much info on Twilight as possible, not quite. What I did do however, was recommend this series to pretty much all of my friends. Infact; I even lent Twilight to a friend of mine who was going on her honeymoon, a Mediterranean cruise. She apparently finished it the first day or two she was on the cruise then went nuts because she could not find the other books anywhere and was really upset that I didn’t send the other books with her!

Now, I personally am one of those individuals that thinks making a movie out of this novel is just silly and just downright stupid.

You can’t capture Edward, no matter how much they try to make Robert Pattinson do it.

And I do not even want to post this… but Kristen Stewart as Bella. Seriously? I mean, Seriously?
Ugh. I actually can safely say that she is just.so.awful!

I suppose she physically portrays Bella, very plain jane… but her acting is just so AWFUL. I actually cannot handle it. To be honest I don’t know who they could have casted for Bella, so I will say that Kristen did make a good Bella in terms of looks, but Ugh! Her acting is BRUTAL!

I will say that Robert did an excellent job on Edward for the first movie… He wasn’t crazy buff as that Taylor kid did for Jacob, but he was tall and firm - solid. Like how Edward was supposed to portray. Tall, thin but strong firm, not bulky muscle.

I don’t know if the fame world has really gotten to him (he did choose this life, remember?) but he looks GAWD AWFUL in the second movie. Yes Yes, he’s Edward, very pretty. But he actually just looked so Ew.



He looks downright anorexic skinny. He’s got the paleness down to a T.

But Robert, atleast attempt to look like your not a little twig. The producer company could have done a much, much better job on you. It’s a pity.

Or maybe this was the perfect opportunity to give Taylor AKA Jacob the limelight, because absolutely no joke, everytime Jacob came on the scene - the 10 year old girls in the movie threatre screamed like it was a Teen Choice Awards… I think I am getting too old for that, but it was cute… the first time. After that it was just annoying.



He was beyond delish in the movie. Any girl with eyes could see that.

Looks marvelous for what 16? 17? How I wish I was that young. And NO I am not that old :-p

So to conclude, I do highly recommend the books. If not for anything else, then just for a nice, easy book to read. Its nice to read about young love. However; unpractical it is… it is FUN and can make you feel good and special about yourself J

He is pure yumminess. And his acting is actually pretty much up to par. WAY better than anorexic Edward and plain jane Bella AKA Kristen Stewert… Excuse me while I vomit.

That is my two cents.
Live.Laugh.Love.Travel<3

GRC Oscars... and staff holiday parties

I work in Aquatics... It can be a great job! The people I work with are excellent, my supervisors on the other hand... not so much. Infact, one of them in particular... Ugh. I will get into that.

Anyways, so like most work places, we try to have a Holiday Christmas Party.

For the past few years, it was just the pool staff and some of the facility staff, so pretty small.

So on top of going to a restaurant/bar or house party, I decided to spruce it up a little bit.
In high school, there are Grad Oscars, just a fun little activity, but most consider it a "popularity contest"... I wanted to change that. So I decided to run Oscars at my workplace.
Everyone bounced on the idea! So a tradition was born.
Like I said before, until last year it was just Aquatic staff and facility staff, therefore; small.

This year the facility centre has grown enormously. Not only is there Aquatic staff and facility staff, there is fitness staff, personal trainers, customer service staff, public skating staff, and child and youth recreation staff... so pretty much 3 times the normal amount. Which means, I have to come up with more nomination sections!

So with the help of some fellow co-workers, we came up with almost double the selection!

So for the first few days, everyone was really excited!

Then... yesterday when I went to start tallying up the nomination sheets (better to start earlier than later) there were a few nomination sheets that said something like "Oscars are a little harsh this year, whats up with that?!?)

SERIOUSLY? What the HELL?

I go out of my way to make sure that the staff HAVE Oscars this year and people have the nerve to say that I made the too harsh?

Honestly; people are WAY too sensitive!

I mean we had the standard sections "Nicest Smile", "Nicest Eyes", but to make it more interesting, we had sections like "Biggest Suck-up", Flakiest Staff" BUT it is ALL in good fun!! it is NOT meant to be taken seriously!!

Ugh! sometimes I wish people would stop complaining and just get over themselves!

That is my two cents on this issue!

Our.Deepest.Fear.

Our Deepest Fear.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually who are we not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small doesn't serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't

feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And when we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,

our presence automatically liberates others.

- Marianne Williamson

A Return to Love: Reflections on thePrinciples of "A Course in Miracles"

This poem really hits home with me.

I originally discovered while watching one of the most powerful movie in a long time: Coach Carter.

That movie sends such a strong and powerful message.

I highly recommend it for anyone and everyone.

It can portray a little message for everyone and the fact that it is a true story and what the characters go through, what Coach Carter goes through. It should send a message loud and clear for all.

Everyone is worth it. Not a single person should feel like their lives will never amount to anything. That is completely 100% false.

This poem is beautiful and eerie.

When I am having a bad day (or week) and I am feeling absolutely worthless and life could not get much better for me, I read this poem and I don't feel so solemn.

Its a horrible feeling, to be alone, isolated, worthless.

It is nice to know that someone in the world wrote this poem. The greatest thing about it - it could have multiple meanings for anyone and everyone!

Its a poem that in my opinion was designed to help anyone out with whatever they are feeling.

Tia's Confession:
(one of many...)

Along with many, many other insecure things I have about myself... my biggest insecurity is that I do not love myself. I do not love what I see in the mirror. I do not see what others apparently see in me, and those feelings are awful. I wish I saw what others see, but it's hard for me.

I am very good at making sure other people see the aura and light around them, I just do not see mine. Which is when I start to think, "Do I even have one? Am I worthy?"

I know that I should answer myself, YES! I do! I am just as good as everyone else.

It's just not as easy.

One day, I hope I will finally get it.

Sister Love<3

Having a sister is like having a best friend you can’t get rid of. You know whatever you do, they’ll still be there.

Sweet is the voice of a sister in the season of sorrow.

A loyal sister is worth a thousand friends.

This is my sister!

Her name is Stefania.

She is the best part of my life. I adore everything about her.

She is slightly older now - 21 years old, but wasn't she the cutest person you have ever seen when she was little!

She still has her natural blond ringlette curls, and baby blues!! Ugh! don't you just wanna hate her too :p

Stef is funny, kind, lovable. She is also impulsive, unpredictable, crazy and all over the place!

She is my best friend and I would do absolutely anything for her :)

Heart.Broken.

Once upon a time, there was a guy...
and as you can probably guess, said boy completely obliterated my heart.
Enough Said.

You look so dumb right now
Standin' outside my house
Tryin' to apologize
You're so ugly when you cry
Please, just cut it out

And don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
Really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertainin'
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow

Ohhh... Grab your clothes and get gone
before the sprinklers come on
Talkin' about, girl, I love you, you're the one
This just looks like a re-runPlease, what else is on (ohh)

And don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
Really had me goingBut now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertainin'
But it's over now (but it's over now)
Go on and take a bow

Ohh, and the award for the best liar goes to
making me believe that you could be faithful to me
Let's hear your speech out
How about a round of applause
A standin' ovation
But you put on quite a show
Really had me going
Now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertainin'

But it's over now (but it's over now)
Go on and take a bow
But it's over now...